Why Men don’t like High-Waisted Shorts

 

Your Homemade Pair Looks Even Worse

Look, I get it. It sounds like a great idea in theory. You head down to Goodwill, pick up the most mom-tastic pair of jeans you can find, and spend an afternoon slicing, dicing, and acid-washing until you’re left with a seemingly fashionable pair of chest-chokers. If only it were that easy. In most cases, the end result of this scissor-session looks more like your dog went on a destructive rampage in your closet.

If you’re going to ignore my advice and still rock the high-waisted look, the least you can do is own it with a pair of professionally made shorts. There’s a reason that some random 48-year-old gave away those hip blasting abominations. She sure as hell didn’t expect them to be transformed into a $3.50 crafting project for a sorority girl on a budget. Remember ladies, just because you can craft up an amazing cooler, it doesn’t mean you’re quite ready to make a fashion statement with a highrise pair of decade-old Levi’s.

They Make Great Asses Disappear

This is a magic trick that David Blaine couldn’t even pull off, yet these mom jean enthusiasts shock crowds with no sleight-of-hand or magic words required. The second almost any well-proportioned gal fastens that ribcage choking waistband, she might as well proclaim, “Now you see it! Now you don’t!”